By: Jonathan Kwan
August 10, 2007

It's not April 1st ;) But anyways, we know how much electricity NVIDIA products consumes -- and how much heat they generate in return. This is just a joke, tongue-in-cheek poke fun at NVIDIA -- in fact, I love NVIDIA video cards -- I am using an Asus branded NVIDIA 8800GTS just as I type this up!

Anyways, the whole joke started when I received an Asus 8800GTS for my computer and it idles at literally 84c on the hot days during this summer (2007). During those days, I turned off my desktop to use my laptop because my room gets so warm. As the past few days are rainy and cool, I found my room kind of cold -- so I turned on my 210W space heater (My computer). It's all nice and warm in less than half an hour!

Apparently that's where I got the 'Home Depot' part from; as I have previously joked about how computers containing Prescott core Pentium 4s back then can be found under the "Space Heater" section at Home Depot.

Inspiration of this 'advertisement' comes otherwise from NVIDIA's flash product advertisement/introduction on their website. This is where I obtained the graphics from, as well as the highlight of each products are adapted versions of NVIDIA's real description for its respective products. Same goes with the slogan -- at the time of writing, NVIDIA's slogan under its name is "Worldwide Leader in Programmable Graphics Processor Technologies".

Beginning with the graphics card, clicking it reveals a NVIDIA Tesla C870 GPU Computing Processor, in which I have changed it to a more commonly known NVIDIA flagship card 8800 Ultra due to its visual similarities with the provided image. I also adapted "GeForce" into "HeatForce", with Multi-HeatForce an alternate word for SLI (Changed from Multi-GPU configuration) to make it clear and understandable.

The 'NVIDIA Quadro Roast 1000 BBQ4' obtained its name from 'NVIDIA Quadro Plex 1000 S4'. I can't remember what text I modified, or where it is located on the NVIDIA website.

I also thought the name "Telsa" was quite funny, as the first thing that pops into my head is "Salsa" afterwards. Created with another modified name, the 'NVIDIA Salsa D666 Convectional Desktop Oven' obtained its name from NVIDIA's actual product name of "Tesla D870 Deskside Supercomputer". A bit of low grade Photoshop work replaced its 'Telsa' label in front to 'Salsa' as shown in the 'advertisement'.

Description was also adapted from NVIDIA's original text, as posted on their product page:

Peak performance of over 500 gigaflops per GPU on floating point operations in data intensive applications.

And also:

Executes thousands of concurrent threads for high throughput parallel processing of mathematically intensive problems. Modular design scales across multiple NVIDIA GPUs.

I was going to modify System monitoring, thermal control and fault notification in the 1U server product provide the necessary features for efficient integration of GPU computing servers into the data center as well, but unfortunately ran out of room haha.

Finally, to clarify text on the left, it is obvious that it was inspired by an NVIDIA nForce 600i series promotion. Original text is:

1333MHz FSB support, SLI and extreme overclocking

To create consistency with the rest of the advertisement, I changed the '1333MHz FSB support' to a temperature unit -- into Celsius. SLI is changed to 'multi-HeatForce', again to create consistency, as well as 'extreme overclocking' to 'extreme overcooking' not only to create consistency once more, but also due to striking similarities in appearance of the words but entirely different meanings.

The second line, as the original one mentions, 'NVIDIA nForce 600i Series Motherboards for the latest Intel CPUs', has been changed. I did not really adapt much of this statement because of consistency once more -- therefore I matched it to the slogan as well as promoted 'products'.

That's the whole story behind this, and if you ask, I like NVIDIA products as much as you do. We know they manufacture performance hardware as well as being on time on release date without paper launches. Don't take it the wrong way, there's nothing wrong (Besides heat ;)) of NVIDIA products!