Apple Brick's details leaked from Apple washroom sinks
|// 2008 April Fools News Piece #3
From APH Networks: Far be it from normal for APH Networks to be looking at Apple products, we've recently acquired news that Apple has been developing a new and expectantly revolutionary product. Housing for people in the North American region has always been amongst the greatest and most accomodating - but the majority of them definitely are not "sexy" enough to be inhabitable, according to the internal source of the leak. Taking up arms against such a world, Apple has decided to march on and create the Apple iHouse with the Apple Brick - a Brick that's definitely good lookin'.
Compatible only with proprietary Apple Mortar, the Apple Brick sets out to make a statement upon the world - be sexy, because that's the most important feature anything could have. I personally find this statement most reassuring - with the iPod dominating the digital audio player market and the iPhone dominating the mobile handset department, I feel that it's only appropriate for Apple to create the iHouse and make our houses better looking. Most companies struggle when it comes to designing, but with Apple, it's business as usual.
Apple Bricks can be ordered from Apple Stores and Lowe's, but the rumour mill suggests that Apple is also working a deal out with Home Depot to stock the Apple Brick. The Apple Brick is uncustomizable and comes at a whopping $149.99, with material similar to those of the ordinary bricks but with aesthetics much more beautiful crafted.
Analysts refer to their statistics and conclude that residents in houses being developed with the Apple Brick are less likely to be broken into - I call that a load of baloney. Rather, due to the lack of neighbourhoods using the Apple Brick, and their upscale locations, it logically makes sense that there are fewer iHouses being broken into.
The Apple Brick comes at a high price for its beautiful aesthetics. Is it worth it? In this reviewer's opinion - for sure. Like anything Apple, it's a wonderful piece of technology and will certainly be moving our world forward. Hopefully we get to see leaked pictures of the Apple Brick, or official news via an actual press release from Apple themselves.
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