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Ask Dr. Hand!

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*comes into room riding weasels* WHEEEEEE!!!

 

Hello again everybody! Dr. Hand here to show you the way to "fame and fortune"! And by "fame and fortune", I of course mean "prison and butt-rape".

 

Let's get into our next batch o' questions, shall we? Let's shall!

 

Our first question comes from chc! He wishes to know:"So it's summer now... what should I do?"

 

Ah, yes, summertime! A time of rest, relaxation, and funny diseases with funnier names that make it burn when you pee! Not that I know anything about that! HAHA!

 

But, yes, there comes a time when a young man must decide how best to take life by the horn and honk as loudly as possible...no, wait...that's not how it goes.

 

Anyhoo, when contemplating all that spare time that summer affords them, many people find themselves at a crossroad as it were and are forced to ask themselves several questions, including:"What am I going to do with all this spare time?", "What opportunities are there for me?", and "Where are my pants?".

 

Many others wonder about romance. Yes, the summer can be a time of meeting that "special someone", falling head over heels in love, and the resulting restraining orders from that time that you were caught pleasuring yourself outside her bedroom window in the shrubbery. Not that I know anything about that! HAHA! On second thought, maybe you should take up music...Now THERE'S a good hobby! Yes! Far away from windows, shrubbery, and awkward moments when you are around her father who happens to be your boss. Not that I would know anything about that! Yes, take up music...for the love of God ® take up music! Just make sure that you never make love to a french horn. You'll never live that one down, no matter how many times you explain to people that "it was asking for it I tell ya...they're ALL asking for it...the french horns...the tubas...and DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE CLARINETS!!!..."

Not that I know anything about that! Just remember:The clarinets are the filthy whores of the music world.

 

Our next question comes from HopkinsProgramming! They wish to know "Can you make my sore throat, sneezing, sniffling and headache go away?"

 

Hmmm....sore throat, sneezing, sniffling, and headache you say? For this one, I will have to enlist the help of another doctor. But who? Hmmmmm...HEY! I know!

 

Ladies and gentlemen of the board, I present to you Dr. Johannes Frugenhopst from the 15th century! He shall assist me in diagnosing the problem here!

 

Dr. Hand: I want to thank you Dr. Frugenhopst for assisting me in this case.

Dr. Frugenhopst: Verily ye art welcome!

Dr. H: My patient is complaining of a sore throat, sneezing, headache and some mild sniffling. What do you suggest be done?

Dr. F: Hmmmm...I thinketh that verily that he is filledeth with demons! This callst for a good bleedingth with leeches to casteth the devil out of himeth!

Dr. H: What?!

Dr. F: Oh yesseth! I haveth performed this procedureth many timeseth! First we cut offeth his headeth....

Dr. H: Ummmmm...

Dr. F: Then we set himeth on fireth!

Dr. H: I'm not so sure....

Dr. F: Then we cut off alleth his toeseth and put the leeches oneth hiseth feeteth!

Dr. H: Uh, doctor, I don't think that's the way to go. I was thinking something more along the lines of some Benadryl ®.

Dr. F: WITCHERY!! YE HAVETH THE DEVIL IN YE! BURN HIM BURN HIM!!! *grabs torch*

Dr. H: Thanks but I'll be going now...*runs*

 

There you go HP, either some Benadryl ® or a good bleeding with leeches to cast the devil out of "ye". Take your pick.

 

Lastly, Chewmen_ldr asks:"Where do you think I got the prefix "Chewmen"?"

 

I would gladly answer that question, Chewmen, but I'm currently trying to flee a 15th century loon who wants to burn me and if that's not ENOUGH of a problem, I have this tuba stuck on me.

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Lastly, Chewmen_ldr asks:"Where do you think I got the prefix "Chewmen"?"

 

I would gladly answer that question, Chewmen, but I'm currently trying to flee a 15th century loon who wants to burn me and if that's not ENOUGH of a problem, I have this tuba stuck on me.

I feel ripped off. :S

 

But nice post. :)

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I used to be hardcore Linkin Park...still like them...but Yellow Card? That is a disgrace to mankind. They are dirty and disgusting like aphnetworks.com.

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I don't like their music. I found several tracks on youtube and others and they all sound like generic pop music, no offence.

 

A LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG way from Bach.

 

Which comes to the next question, is Bach the holy grail for music?

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Bach is pretty easily exceedable. Considering the fact he's not alive anymore, we don't have any new albums to anticipate from him XD

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And he never won any grammys! no vocal ability :S

 

Anyway we arent dissing... just messing around, enjoy your music and we respect ya for that :):S

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IMO:

 

Music is getting simpler and simpler and simpler, and the fact that most of the pop music is very very generic :/ there's always that thump thump bg and a "jump up and down". They don't have very good music IQ.

 

But with BACH, he was revolutionary. People used to say: "Its either Bach or the devil himself!". With Kelly Clarkson, the voice comes naturally, and their songs are easy to sing. With BACH's motets and passions, they take practice, a lot of vocal grounding.

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rofl ty I got to hear you sing one of those Kelly Clarkson songs. I mean, I can sing Linkin Park (Numb is pretty easy, Easier to Run needs to get the beats right then you are off, but In The End, the chorus where the guy goes like 'it doesnt even matter' - both times - takes a bit of practice), but from experience, Kelly Clarkson's songs aren't easy.

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