Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
APH-Alex

[School]Things I would Take to The Afterlife

Recommended Posts

This is a little project I had to do about what I would take with me to the [Egyptian] afterlife, and write a small paragraph. Watcha think? It's not all done yet, I'll edit with an update soon, this is due tomorrow, so all comments appreciated now.

 

Modern Day Tomb Collection

 

Alex Macarie

 

In the afterlife I think that there are a few necessary things that I would need to bring along with me. The first one being a laptop. I mean, be serious, who can live without a laptop? In the afterlife, you need to stay connected brother. You can get the ‘scoop’ on all the latest fashions and afterlife scandals without a laptop. How else, but with a laptop, could I have found out that Tutankhamen and Oprah’s mom broke up? I think that’s reason enough, not to mention all the fun you can have with one.

 

Another thing that I deem necessary to be able to after live in the afterlife, is an iPod. Who can live after living, without an iPod? I absolutely need music to survive. What with all the souls wandering around aimlessly, the afterlife can get a little bit boring. No worries here though, I have my trusty little music player to play all of my tunes, so when I get a little bored, and “that thing I promised not to do” has gotten old, I just crank up the tunes and listen away to my hearts content.

 

 

How else can one power all of his electronics without a trustworthy source of electricity? The only way I can seem to find is a power plant. Honestly though, haven’t you always wished of rushing 4 million watts of power to your iPod? It’s so intense, that the colour becomes so bright, and it blinded me for three days. Plus, it also made my music so loud that I actually have the lyrics to “Barbie Girl” embedded into my forehead. Although I may never actually try that again, it still provides electricity for my everyday appliances such as my refrigerator, my telephone, my carpet, my flashlight, you know, all that kind of stuff.

 

 

 

While the laptop is mainly used for, uh, Internet “browsing”, some intense gaming will be done. A professional mouse pad such as the XTracPads Hybrid will be necessary for precise aim and stability. I might also need it for very careful photo editing of that one time when I visited heaven and there was a very rude person behind me, doing things that got him sent down to “you know where”. Yeah, getting him and his, uh, fingers, out of my picture with Osiris, will be kind of hard without a good mousing area to make precise edits.

 

 

Bad Internet is like bad Kleenex. Usable, but it really just doesn’t do the job well. That’s why I think that a tier 1 Internet connection with 100Gbps down and 50Gbps up is very important to have when downloading all of Eddie Murphy the IV’s latest movies. There is no one like this guy, I mean, his predecessors are pretty funny, like the first Eddie Murphy with that one good movie of his, but he lives at H-E-Double Hockey Sticks Care Home for the Elderly. Plus, how would all that music get to my iPod without a great Internet connection? Ah yes, think of having all of your media downloaded and ready to use in about 3 seconds..

 

Rest to Do:

 

My Wife

Cell Phone

Bed

Twister

My Friends

Modern_Day_Tomb_Collection.doc

Edited by APH-Alex

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

wow, you need to stop thinking about this techno stuff alex, go outside and ride your bike, or go skiing/snowboarding, you live in bc!!! lucky kid!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lol, I'm getting to that. Anyways, right now I finished my wife paragraph:

 

One thing a man cannot live without is his most beloved. That is, his Plasma TV of course. However, that will be talked about later. The next thing I want to bring to my afterlife is my [to be]wife. Now, let’s get something clear, I don’t have a wife but, when I die I, hopefully, will want to spend all of eternity with her. Who else can you play twister with? Plus, the mountains and hills in the afterlife are incredible to go biking on. Actually, that brings me to my next point.

 

Rest to Do:

 

Norco VPS A-Line

Bed

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hold it...You actually beleive once you die you're gonna go to the afterlife? One you die man it's wait till Jesus comes so he can wake you up from you're state of sleep (death) and take you up in the clouds and to heaven with him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Umm... it's a school assignment. You know how the egyptians took crap with them? This is me saying what I would take. Obviously I don't believe in that BS.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You mean you don't believe in the afterlife crap? Also when we go to heaven we won't be taking nothing with us. Cuz it won't be needed in heaven. There will no computers, TV's, rock music, tech stuff, and all that sorta stuff we got now.

Edited by ajschwab2004

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OMG!! I don't believe in the egyptian afterlife. THIS IS SUPPSOED TO BE AN ASSIGNMENT TO MIMICK THEIR BELIEFS. HOWEVER, I DO BELIEVE IN THE ETERNITY AND HEAVEN ETC...

 

I know we won't take anything. The egyptians thought it would be need, so our teacher is wondering if we were an egyptian with those beliefs in modern times, what would we bring.. sheesh

Edited by APH-Alex

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's an egypt thing man. We're studying egypt. The ancient egyptians believed in the afterlife. That's why we're doing this activity. Anyways, all done, please read it all.

 

Modern Day Tomb Collection

 

Alex Macarie

 

In the afterlife I think that there are a few necessary things that I would need to bring along with me. The first one being a laptop. I mean, be serious, who can live without a laptop? In the afterlife, you need to stay connected brother. You can't get the ‘scoop’ on all the latest fashions and afterlife scandals without a laptop. How else, but with a laptop, could I have found out that Tutankhamen and Oprah’s mom broke up? I think that’s reason enough, not to mention all the fun you can have with one.

 

Another thing that I deem necessary to be able to after live in the afterlife, is an iPod. Who can live after living, without an iPod? I absolutely need music to survive. What with all the souls wandering around aimlessly, the afterlife can get a little bit boring. No worries here though, I have my trusty little music player to play all of my tunes, so when I get a little bored, and “that thing I promised not to do” [checking my e-mail]has gotten old, I just crank up the tunes and listen away to my hearts content.

 

 

How else can one power all of his electronics without a trustworthy source of electricity? The only way I can seem to find is a power plant. Honestly though, haven’t you always wished of rushing 4 million watts of power to your iPod? It’s so intense, that the colour becomes so bright, and it blinded me for three days. Plus, it also made my music so loud that I actually have the lyrics to “Barbie Girl” embedded into my forehead. Although I may never actually try that again, it still provides electricity for my everyday appliances such as my refrigerator, my telephone, my carpet, my flashlight, you know, all that kind of stuff.

 

 

 

While the laptop is mainly used for, uh, Internet “browsing” as in checking my e-mail, some intense gaming will be done. A professional mouse pad such as the XTracPads Hybrid will be necessary for precise aim and stability. I might also need it for very careful photo editing of that one time when I visited heaven and there was a very rude person behind me, doing things that got him sent down to “you know where”. Yeah, getting him and his, uh, fingers, out of my picture with Osiris, will be kind of hard without a good mousing area to make precise edits.

 

 

Bad Internet is like bad Kleenex. Usable, but it really just doesn’t do the job well. That’s why I think that a tier 1 Internet connection with 100Gbps down and 50Gbps up is very important to have when downloading all of Eddie Murphy the IV’s latest movies. There is no one like this guy, I mean, his predecessors are pretty funny, like the first Eddie Murphy with that one good movie of his, but he lives at H-E-Double Hockey Sticks Care Home for the Elderly. Plus, how would all that music get to my iPod without a great Internet connection? Ah yes, think of having all of your media downloaded and ready to use in about 3 seconds.

 

 

One thing a man cannot live without is his most beloved. That is, his Plasma TV of course. However, that will be talked about later. The next thing I want to bring to my afterlife is my [to be] wife. Now, let’s get something clear, I don’t have a wife but, when I die I, hopefully, will want to spend all of eternity with her. Who else can you play twister with? Plus, the mountains and hills in the afterlife are incredible to go biking on. Actually, that brings me to my next point.

 

What better way to spend time in the afterlife with your, hopefully fun to be around and beautiful spouse, other than to go biking. The Norco VPS A-Line offers everything anyone would want. Why, by using it I was able to pick up 4 hot bowling balls, at the SAME TIME. It’s incredible really. You should check it out.

 

 

Even though I won’t have the need to sleep in the afterlife, I will still require a bed. Weather just to relax, or do personal things, like check my e-mail. A soft comfy bed is the perfect way to relax and have some fun with your spouse doing, “you know what”, which is checking your e-mail. A pillow fight once in a while wouldn’t hurt, so a bed can make sure you have some of those too. Actually, to summarize it in a few words:

 

What can’t a bed do?

 

 

Another thing would be something flammable and a lighter. Since I can’t die in the afterlife, playing with fire should be okay. Seriously, it’s so fun; it’s not even not fun. Just watching those papers burn, oh, what a good feeling. The smell is gross, but that’s ok. Oh my god, I just remembered, in the afterlife, there is a huge fireworks show every day at Lincoln’s mansion. Now that is a display I don’t want to miss. You have to bring your own fireworks, so a lighter is very useful.

 

 

My last thing, in all seriousness, is my parents. Without them, my life would be less stressful, and slightly more enjoyable. They have a policy of moderation in the afterlife, so doing fun stuff, like checking my e-mail, has to be balanced out by living with my parents. Oh well, they make good company when the spouse is feeling grumpy. This concludes my list of things I would bring to the afterlife, and I hope you enjoyed reading it.

Edited by APH-Alex

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Your "voice" is very evident. It maybe a good thing, maybe a bad thing depending on your marker.

 

What's that supposed to mean?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you want a 'Tier 1 connection', make sure the world actually has a network, and that every other tier 1 carrier peers with you.

 

Also make sure you grab your set of Cisco switches and routers, and a 10g FCP from InterNAP.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah yeah, I don't wanna bore my teacher with that stuff though. She wouldn't get it and skip it and then miss some parts that aren't techy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...